Self-Concept, Pt. II: Who Am I?

Bridgette W. Gottwald, LPC, NCC

If you read or listened to my previous blog post, you learned about self-concept and how it is easier to understand when it is broken down into three categories – attitude, beliefs, and values. We left off talking about the definitions and descriptions of these three things which you will find below: 

Attitude 

Attitude, which can change easily or frequently, is defined as “your immediate disposition toward a concept or object.” Attitudes can be changed or persuaded by other people, or by exposure to different experiences. 

Beliefs

Beliefs are “ideas based on our previous experiences and convictions and may not necessarily be based on logic or fact.” These serve as a “frame of reference” through which we interpret and make meaning of the world. Beliefs can be changed as well, but it may take more effort or evidence to persuade someone to change one of their beliefs. 

Values

Values develop early on, and they are “concepts or ideas that we consider good or bad, right or wrong or what is worth the sacrifice.” Vales are integral to self-image and it makes us who we are. Values are more resistant to change than beliefs, and often it takes a "transformative experience" to change values.

Throughout life, people will encourage and discourage you from different things. When giving and receiving criticism or feedback, it should always be constructive with specific points you can address, correct, and improve upon. This affects the way you view yourself and the potential you think you have or can maintain. We must be accepting that we will make mistakes throughout life, but the important thing is that we learn from them. In learning from mistakes, there is a lower probability that the same mistake happens over again. 

You can become a more effective communicator by understanding yourself and how others view you: your attitudes, beliefs, and values; your self-concept; and how the self-fulfilling prophecy may influence your decisions.

Looking Glass Self

Looking glass self is described as the process in which people base their sense of self and how they believe other people view them. When we ask ourselves questions like how do I appear to others and what do others think of me, we are getting into the looking-glass self hypothesis. 

According to Charles Horton Cooley, "a self-idea of this sort seems to have three principal elements: the imagination of our appearance to the other person; the imagination of his judgment of that appearance, and some sort of self-feeling, such as pride or mortification." When it comes to looking glass self, we place extra importance upon our parents or supervisors or those that have a degree of control over us. It’s not only others that judge us, but we judge ourselves, too, and both views count. To develop into a well-rounded individual, we can’t rely solely on the feedback of others or what we think of ourselves. Ideally, we will learn to find a balance between constructive feedback from others paired with constructive self-affirmation. 

Ideally, after reading this two-part blog series, you have gained a better understanding of who you are, or at least how well you know yourself. It’s never too late to begin self-discovery or improvement and self-check-ins should be a lifelong process. Not sure where to begin? There are plenty of talented clinicians at Symmetry Counseling that you could get started with today. Call 855-733-8171.

Reference: 

Course Hero. (2022). Interpersonal communication: Self-concept. Retrieved from: https://www.coursehero.com/study-guides/interpersonalcommunicationxmaster/self-concept/