SURF Emotions: How Can I Ride the Wave?
Bridgette W. Gottwald, LPC, NCC
The waves in life aren’t ever going to stop coming, but you can learn how to SURF. Life is a collection of ups and downs, and it’s full of ascending and descending hills and peaks. We will fall, learn how to get up, make mistakes, celebrate our successes and navigate the many disappointments life might throw at us.
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
-Vivian Greene
SURF is a common mindfulness technique and acronym that helps you to learn how to “ride the wave!” We cannot avoid or escape difficult situations or emotions that come our way, but we can be prepared and know how to handle them when it does occur.
Utilizing this acronym will help you to respond to situations in a more balanced and self-aware way. S stands for specific, U stands for understanding your common thoughts and triggers, r stands for recognizing your need, and f stands for following through. This blog will help you to learn more and implement SURF into your own life!
S - Specific
Learning and incorporating an emotional vocabulary into your life will help you to be specific about how and why you feel certain ways. Own how you feel and face it head-on. It’s okay to experience unpleasant emotions and understanding them can help us to rid ourselves of them. I often recommend to my clients to go beyond the obvious to identify exactly what they are feeling. This feelings chart below might help you to be more specific!
Understand your common thoughts and triggers
Everyone has triggers and is affected differently by certain things. This can be difficult as culturally, we have been trained to suppress negative emotions. Naming the emotions you are feeling is called “labeling” and it is the first and most important step in dealing with these emotions effectively. If we can’t identify or name it, then how are we supposed to deal with it?
Recognize your need
Take the time to check in with yourself and figure out what needs haven’t been met. Give yourself space, time and keep an open mind. Also, it’s common for us to judge ourselves for feeling a certain way but try to show yourself some compassion by treating yourself as you would a close friend. We are often our own biggest and most judgmental critics. Removing ourselves from the situation and viewing things from an alternate perspective can be helpful.
Follow-through
Everything is always easier said than done. Talking the talk is one thing, but walking the walk is another. Give yourself the time and space to process what you are experiencing and write it out to help you work yourself through it. Allow yourself to fully process what you are going through instead of shying away from it out of trying to avoid dealing with difficult emotions.
Next time you find yourself in a bind, or experiencing difficult emotions, give SURF a try and see how it might help you to feel equilibrated, grounded, and centered.
Reference:
David, S. (2016). 3 ways to better understand your emotions. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2016/11/3-ways-to-better-understand-your-emotions