Life with a Glass Half Full: The Benefits of Optimism
Bridgette W. Gottwald LPC, NCC
Are you pessimistic? That’s okay, life can be disappointing at times. However, 8.6% of the things we worry about, or things that we are pessimistic about, never happen. Even when they do happen, we are more resilient than we think and recovery isn’t as bad as we imagine. Optimism can get us much further in life, and it depends upon genes and socioeconomic status. Research shows that optimists “earn more money, have better relationships, and even live longer.” Aren’t we all striving for these three things anyways? Good news, optimism can be learned!
Optimism: A Heritable and Modifiable Personality Trait
So, you’re pessimistic because that’s how your mother was, and that’s what we call learned behavior patterns. After all, worry is just a prediction, and how good is anyone at that? There is a place where this pessimism comes from, and people usually engage in a pessimistic outlook in order to protect themselves from disappointment. Just because you may have inherited a “bleak outlook” from your parents doesn’t mean you have to resign to it forever.
How to Walk on the Sunnier Side of the Street
Life is beautiful, but it can be messy, and you are presented with a choice in how you show up to it – negatively or positively, take your pick! Life is going to throw us some disappointments and curveballs no matter what, so you basically have a choice between positive expectations that are sometimes proven wrong or negative expectations that are occasionally proven right. Sounds like the former option is more ideal, right?
Visualizing Your Best Possible Self
You don’t have to be “a planner” to do this, but there is value in envisioning your life both five and ten years from now. What would your life look like at this time, and how would it feel? Perhaps getting some things down on paper is a good place to start. After all, research shows goals that we set are 42% more likely to come to fruition if we write them down. There’s something about writing things down that makes them more real and tangible, as opposed to thoughts, hopes, or wishes that just loom about in our heads. So, sit yourself down, write about it, once a week, for six to eight minutes, for two months. Describe and get into the details of this best version of yourself that you want to become. It’s helpful to focus on this best self in a single domain at a time – for example, your career, relationships, health or family.
Are you doubting this exercise? Well, research with hundreds of subjects has shown positive results, with the main reason being the strengthening of optimistic muscles within the brain. These muscles are made stronger by “thinking about all of your dreams coming true as opposed to worrying about the worst possible outcome.”
Arguing Against Yourself
Do you know that voice in your head that tells you all of those negative things? It’s time for you to start putting up a fight. Arguing with this voice “as if it were an external person whose mission in life is to always make you miserable” should take place when you go down the rabbit hole of self-negativity. This is done by presenting evidence to prove this self-nemesis wrong.
Putting Things into Perspective
Often when talking about specific interventions with my clients, such as the two mentioned above (arguing with yourself and putting things into perspective), I point out the fact that sure, they do sound simple and basic, but doing these things evokes change that sticks. You might not believe me when I say that they work, but research backs it up, and I’d say it’s better to give it a try as opposed to continue to worry and live a pessimistic life.
References:
Shain, Susan (2020). How to be more optimistic. New York Times. Retrieved from: https://nyti.ms/2STBgLu
Matyszczyk, C. (n.d.), Always anxious? an eye-opening new study says this is how many of your worries will come true. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/chris-matyszczyk/incredible-new-study-says-how-many-of-your -worries-will-come-true.html
Economy, P. (n.d.). This is the way you need to write down your goals for faster success. The Leadership Guy. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/this-is-way-you-need-to-write-down-your-goals-for-faster-success.html